Jesus came and stood among them and said, “Peace be with you!” After he said this, he showed them his hands and side. John 20:19-20
I heard someone say it to me just a few hours ago, “No pain, no gain.”
Like most bland cliches, this one kind of made me roll my eyes internally, but to be fair, I had it coming. They said this, because I had just been groaning about how sore I was from a workout that I had done recently. And instead of being able to just carry around that pain and feel it in my body, I felt the need to share some of it with my friend. Ha, what a delightful gift!
It’s funny though, because what I received back from my friend was actually a wonderful gift, which was the reminder that even though I dislike it, avoid it, repress it, ignore it, war against it, would like to forget it, and with every fiber of my being want to negate it, the unfortunate truth is, there is no sustainable pathway to growth, health, peace, life and joy without pain.
Or in other words: no pain, no gain.
However those words, even though they’re true, have very little power to move us.
Those words don’t get me out of bed in the morning. They don’t inspire me, in fact they kinda depress me. They just spin my mind wondering down a path, “Is there seriously not another way? Who designed this crummy system? How do I speak to the manager about getting a refund?!”
To be honest, I’ve gone a loooong way down that path. As I’ve gotten older and look back on life, I’ve realized that so many of my choices have been largely driven by this impulse to try to avoid different types of pain.
How can I avoid conflicts with people?
How can I make sure I don’t feel awkward or embarrassed? How does this loneliness go away?
What can I do to get rid of this feeling of powerlessness? Where can I go where I won’t feel this restlessness and anxiety?
Ironically though, all of this avoidance, all of this running from pain and discomfort and uncertainty, just brought me: wait for it… more pain, discomfort, uncertainty.
And perhaps the even greater irony, was that all of this added pain, the growing frustration, the unavoidable discomfort was actually the force that broke me open and woke me up to that when it comes to pain, hardship, discomfort and uncertainty, you “Can’t go over it, can’t go under it, can’t go around it, gotta go THROUGH it!”
It wasn’t until I stopped running and went INTO the pain, that I was able to fully experience what was going wrong, and begin to take steps to fix it, to heal and to finally grow and experience transformation and peace.
So in the end, what we discover is that pain is a gift. It’s not fun, its not pleasant, it may never be completely welcome… but it is a gift and it brings great rewards if we’re willing to be taught by it.
Hebrews 12:11 says, No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.
I love how when the resurrected Jesus offers His disciples peace, He does so by showing them the scars of the painful ordeal He just endured.
You can have peace because pain and loss and hardship and struggle and doubt and fear are not the final word. They do scar us. They hurt us, they break us, they wound us… but they don’t destroy us. In fact, if we’re willing, pain has the unique power to propel us not into breakdown, but to breakthrough.
At Arise, one of our jobs is to help create the space to begin to work through your pain. We’re trained professionals in helping individuals identify their unique pain and then chart a path to healing together. And we each bear our own unique scars from our personal journeys as well. If you’re ready to start your journey, please reach out today.
-Jesse Dukes