“I like to live my life in a rut. The deeper the rut, the more I like it.” a friend I worked with in China would always say. In many ways her life contradicted what she said. After all, this fifty something had given up a teaching career in the US to teach in China and then left the Chinese university where she had built a life to dedicate two years to study Chinese. As I think about my friend’s life, I see the elements of my current favorite meme (shown above).
She made intentional Choices, took Chances, and her life Changed, becoming richer and fuller. I would also like to add a fourth C: Cost. She knew her choices would cost her something but was still welling to move out of her rut to take the chance for change. She just learned how to make new ruts. How about you? Are you willing to make the choice to risk to be where your heart tells you want to be?
In my journey, I have become very conscious of the myriads of Choices I make each day. Do I want to set my alarm to get up or just wake up whenever? What do I want to eat for breakfast? What do I want to wear? Which color eyeshadow do I want to wear today? When do I want to leave for work? How much can I still do before it is time to leave? These are the big choices. There are so many more in between choices, too. Some I am not conscious of. Some not so much.
But in the bigger picture of life, what do you really want? Your heart is not content. Maybe youwant to do something different but you have a good job that more than pays the bills that you don’t like. you can choose to stay where you are or do something different. You struggle with one of your colleagues. You have not been treating them well and you don’t feel good about it. You can choose to work on that relationship or leave it icky and uncomfortable.
Here is where I want to insert the C of Cost. I used to tell my students in China that there is a cost to every choice we make. We need to evaluate that cost and see if the cost of that choice is worth it. Most of the time the answer is yes, but sometimes the cost of that choice is simply too great. What will it cost you to do nothing about that relationship? What will it cost you to address that hurt and rebuild that relationship?
You have evaluated the cost and are willing to move forward with taking the Chance to make that change. You want to take the risk to pay the cost for what you consider to be a positive result. The process can be difficult and painful but you decided the end result is worth it. This is the rich part of your journey – making the change.
If you consistently choose to take the easier, less costly, less risky route in our journey, you won’t grow. You won’t change. You won’t see the great rewards and the richness in the tapestry of your life.
This year a friend was moved out of a position she loved. The previous role gave her ample time to spend with her grandchildren and engage in other activities during and after work. Her new position is more structured and demanding and leaves her with little margin to engage in many things that feed her soul. She has a choice. She could retire now or wait and be fully vested. When I showed her this meme, she gasped. She has a lot to think about. But considering her Choice, [Cost], Chance and Change has brought her decision-making process to an intentional level that will help her make the best decision.
How about you? What Changes would you like to make in your relationships? In your business? In your life? Are you willing to consider your Choices, the Cost and take the Chance to go where you want to go? To a life of fulfillment?
-Becky