I have been really quiet recently – in so many ways. I sit down to write and nothing comes. I want to do a recording and I ask God what He wants me to talk about and nada. In the last couple of days I realize that I am a bit angry and feel such huge losses through all that we have journeyed the last year. All the reminders that “a year ago today was our last…” have driven that grief a little deeper. I suspect you might be feeling the same. In so many ways it feels so nebulous. I can’t put a finger on it but there is a void. Sometimes I have almost defined it and it gets away. It is like my head is filled with white noise or static. Like a faulty connection!
(Please understand this is not a political commentary or statement. We have experienced so much that is out of our control. What I am trying to do is define our present reality and come up with a healthy perspective that moves me and you toward joy and happiness.)
Here is what I have noticed. Our masks and isolation stand in the way of connecting with those with whom we come into contact. Our eyes say a lot but our smiles and facial expressions say so much more. Secondly, our masks tend to take away our identity. Our eyes and smiles make us unique. Some people have come up with clever or pretty masks and those are really nice. Most people use a white medical mask, many a plain black mask. And these masks hide who we are inside or what we are feeling. They hide a smile from a stranger, a look of sadness that results in an immediate prayer, a connection. One day I got a look at myself wearing my mask and aviator sun glasses and I realized my whole face was covered up! Fortunately, I didn’t need to go to the bank that day.
One of the wonderful things that make us human is our desire for connection. This need is in our soul. The imago dei or the image of God that is in every one of us in the desire to be known, to be seen, to be acknowledged. We also lose our sense of uniqueness – that we are each created differently and have different gifts to bring to the table. When we all wear masks, that sense of being known, of being unique, can be lost. The sense of isolation we have all experienced through sheltering in place, is compounded even when we do get out. That lack stirs our soul and leaks out in anger or deep sadness.
(Again, I want to say, I am not trying to be critical of what is required of us during these times. I want to acknowledge what many of us are experiencing and then look at what we might do to bring joy to our hearts.)
What can we do to fill this hole in our soul? First, go to the Creator of your soul. Who better to fix it than the one who made it? One passage in the Bible that keeps comforting me is Psalm 139. In this chapter, God reminds us that He knew us before we were “knit in our mother’s womb”. He knows when we sit down and stand up and knows every thought. WE ARE KNOWN! And we are known in our uniqueness because He created us and made those uniquenesses. Sit quietly with Him, and maybe even yell at Him, and tell Him you want to be seen and you want to see and you want to connect. This is such a great time to deepen your relationship with Jesus. He really wants this! He is there for you, waiting for you to come and connect with Him.
Secondly, connect with those with whom you feel comfortable. With the vaccines many people are feeling more comfortable getting out but we are still directed to wear our masks and social distance. It is so important to connect with those with whom you feel comfortable connecting. Take off your masks and sit 6 feet apart or be outside if that is how you feel comfortable. Hug those you feel comfortable hugging! We need physical touch! Face to face connection is like a drink of cool water on a hot day. Do it!
My niece lives in southern California. Her family is very close but she lives in the high desert and her girls live in Orange County a couple of hours away. The degree of concern, therefore the degree of stress, has been very different between the two locations simply due to differences in population density as well as personal fears. This weekend, after all being vaccinated, the family met at the beach. The looks of joy on their faces in the photo, after being separated for so many months, yelled of hearts elated. My first Sunday back to church, sitting with people I love, brought wholeness to my heart. The first time my home group met face to face earlier in the Covid season – yes, we were a bit rebellious and we were outside – was sooooo refreshing. Being seen and acknowledged and seeing and acknowledging brings healing to our souls.
Third, what do you love to do that expresses your uniqueness and creativity? Do it! I love to cook and bake so I have tried out a LOT of new recipes. Since I am single, I have gained a few pounds. I have also learned that I do enjoy vegetarian dishes so I alternate meat and vegetarian. I also give baked goods away. The cooking and generosity to my friends have both brought me connection, hence joy, as well as sparked new challenges and successes … and failures. Now the crochet project I started during Covid is in a bag because I got stuck on a particularly difficult stitch. Gotta get to that! Gotta master that stitch! Connect with what makes you unique and then share it with those you know.
The challenges we have experienced have been so hard and we don’t know what the future may bring. The new strategies and habits we develop as a result of defining what has impacted our soul will help us move forward in joy and thrive no matter what. So what are you going to do to fix that faulty connection?
-Becky Neufeld