We are living in a very ambiguous time. Our lives have experienced a major earthquake as we are confined to our homes by a disease that is described differently by every expert you read. Staying at home is necessary. Oops! No, it isn’t. Wear a mask when I am out. No, don’t wear a mask. We need to reopen our economy. But how do I that? Every expert seems to have a different opinion. I have no energy. I am so tired and feel numb. So unmotivated. AI CARUMBA! MY ACHING HEAD!
Ambiguity and uncertainty are basic to what we are feeling these days. We have internal and external ambiguity and near and far ambiguity. Internal ambiguity is when you are uncertain about you. This is all new and I have never experienced anything like this before. What am I feeling? I am lethargic and unmotivated. I don’t want to sleep but I have no energy to do anything. Where does this all come from? External ambiguity is what happens to you to create the internal uncertainty. I have been furloughed and am wondering how to pay my bills. Is my unemployment enough? How do I get my payments deferred until we figure this all out? My mother is ill. How do you take care of her? All of these unanswered questions are overwhelming and there don’t seem to be a lot of answers.
Near ambiguity is what is happening now. We are hit with a pandemic. What does this mean? For me? For my family? How do I home school? My kids are driving me crazy! I am an extravert and I am working from home…by myself. What groceries am I going to need for the next two weeks. What really is this disease? Everything they say keeps changing! How do I do this? Future uncertainty is considering the what is to come. Is this going to be the way it is from here on? Will I still have a job? What is happening to my 401K? What about a second round of COVID? Is the economy really tanking? This is an election year…
Our minds, our lives are filled with unanswerable questions.
The truth is we are always processing a certain amount of ambiguity and uncertainty but 2020 has blanketed us in an inordinate amount of unanswerable questions that impact who we are and how we live. You might be finding yourself overwhelmed, binge watching, and working hard on that COVID 15 pounds. You feel like you just can’t grab onto anything because it all feels like Jello. When you try to imagine the future, all you see I gray fog.
The most important thing that you can do during times like these is grasp on to things that are certain. Yes, there are things that are certain!
- Look around the room where you are sitting as you read this. Grab tightly onto the arms of the chair you are sitting in. Feel your muscles tighten and think about how the chair feels. Close your eyes and listen to your self breathe. Think about how your clothes feel on your body. Listen – what do you hear? What do you smell? Take a deep breath and think about how it feels to bring the air into your body and then exhale. All of these things are concrete and definite.
- Develop an attitude of gratitude. The things that you are grateful for are probably things in your life that are certain. You have a roof over your head. The skies are beautiful and blue with big fluffy clouds. You have a TV to watch. You have food to eat. You have a family that loves you (even though right now they might be driving you a little crazy!).
- Reach out to at least one person every day. You might call them or invite them for a socially distance walk outside or Facetime them. The connection will do both of you good and the interaction will energize you.
- What feeds your soul? Another way of thinking about this is Marie Condo’s “What brings you joy?” Do one or two things every day nourish your soul. Is it cooking? Sewing? Reading? Go for a walk! Create!
- Attack a project. You don’t have to do it all today but you might finish it. That sense of accomplishment will encourage and lift you.
- Hold tightly to God. He never changes. He is the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow. Talk with Him. Pour out your heart. If you are mad, you can tell Him that, too. He can handle it. He can make beauty from ashes if you let Him.
We haven’t experienced anything like what is happening in our world for several generations, if ever. Life will continue to bring surprises on a grand and a small scale. Things will change. The ambiguities and uncertainties of today will shift as your life circumstances are changed by the pandemic and all the other things that are happening. Notice how you feel today so you can identify these feelings as they come back. Name them. Identify the things that you do have an answer to, that you can touch and you see as constants. Feed your soul. Breathe.
-Becky