“There is a desire within each of us, in the deep center of ourselves that we call our heart. We were born with it, it is never completely satisfied, and it never dies. We are often unaware of it, but it is always awake…Our true identity, our reason for being, is to be found in this desire.” – Gerald May, The Awakened Heart
In my life’s work, day after day, I see it in people’s eyes.
I hear it in their voices. I feel it in their hearts.
The ache, the longing, the desire that has gone unnoticed or misunderstood for years.
The longing for beauty and adventure in life, the ache for true love, for being chosen, respected, known, understood, and accepted, the calling for living a life of meaning and purpose.
And I, too, know that ache, that longing
All too well.
Ruled by fear, shame, self-pity, and self-hatred, bullied by the unrelenting perfectionist in my head, and controlled by rigid standards and unrealistic expectations, I lived every day of almost forty years feeling stuck in the life story of a lost child striving to be seen, accepted, and deemed worthy.
The harder I tried to make life happen for me, the more I worked at being noticed and approved of, the more disappointed I became and the more discontentment set into my heart. I watched as everyone else lived the life I wanted, and I felt lost, forgotten, left out.
I felt caged in a prison of my own making.
Every day of my existence ignored and opposed the deeper longing, the true desire of my heart. And I didn’t know any better. I didn’t know there was an alternative.
Yet, as my internal misery became more intolerable, I began to desperately search for truth. I was willing to do whatever it took to find freedom. I read everything about freedom, truth, life, and love that I could get my hands on. I got brutally honest with myself, surrendered my heart to God, and sold out to my own journey of my recovering my heart with my Life Coach.
And life-changing truth came.
In a question:
So, Connie, why do you live the life that you do?
(Ummmm. Are you kidding me?!? Because I don’t know another way, and thought I had to live it this way. Seriously?!?)
And the truth kept coming.
- Do you believe that the life you desire is available to you?
- What would it look like if you really lived the life you love?
- Who or what owns your life other than you? To whom or what have you handed over your power?
Those simple questions provoked deep thought, change of perspective, and revelation in my mind and soul. I finally had a glimpse of hope that freedom may actually exist for me and that the truth I needed was available.
Over the next few weeks and months, I discovered the truth that the true desires of my heart, which I had pushed down and ignored for so long, were specifically placed there by God, and that if I acknowledge, listen to, and honor them, the universe will line up energetically and spiritually to honor them too.
My own life transformation and newly found freedom has inspired my work to coach others in discovering freedom from their own prison.
And daily, I see it so clearly in the lives of those I coach.
- Chronic disappointment.
- Discontentment.
- Feeling stuck.
- Constricted.
- Anesthetized.
- Caged.
- Lost.
- In polite, loveless marriages.
- In the daily grind of household and financial responsibilities.
- In the stress of endless financial burden.
- In less than challenging or enjoyable careers.
- In a life other than the one they were made for.
- In a life that is not their own.
They ask themselves, “What’s wrong with me? Why can’t I just be happy in my marriage? Why do I not enjoy being at home? Why isn’t my work challenging or interesting anymore? Where did I go and how did I get here?”
They blame and resent their partner, and lose themselves in a life of fantasy, in an affair or pornography. They bury themselves in their children, hobbies, their appearance, or their work. They numb themselves with food and/or alcohol, and attempt to fill their emptiness with buying things.
According to Gerald May in his book, The Awakened Heart,
“When the desire is too much to bear, we often bury it beneath frenzied thoughts and activities or escape it by dulling our immediate consciousness of living. It is possible to run away from the desire for years, even decades, at a time, but we cannot eradicate it entirely. It keeps touching us in little glimpses and hints in our dreams, our hopes, our unguarded moments.”
So, I ask you. Whose life are you living? Why do you live the life you do? Do you believe that the life you desire is available to you?
I had to deal with my own limitations and mental blocks that were keeping me stuck in a prison of my own making. Those limitations and blocks were actually only in my mind. My beliefs were keeping me stuck, and I couldn’t see it.
So where is freedom?
It resides inside us, in the depths of our souls. The inward journey of recovering our true identify and our unique purpose and understanding spirituality is the journey that leads to true freedom. We can escape in our relief, be mesmerized and distracted by shiny metal objects that lie along our life path, or in our dreams, our fantasies, or instant gratification.
But it’s only temporary relief, and back to the cage we go.
So, the truth is this.
The fact that we long for change, for freedom, for a life we desire, is a sign that we are meant to have it. The fact that we are dissatisfied with our struggles and weaknesses points to the reality that continuing to live in them is not what we were created to do.
Are you ready for change?
- Do you want to recover your true identity and realign with your heart’s true desires?
- Do you want to overcome mental blocks that keep you stuck in a life you don’t enjoy?
- Are you ready to create a life that honors your purpose and your desires?
I want to empower you to be the person you want to be regardless of who and where you’ve been. I am passionate about teaching you how to experience freedom and joy in the present and build confidence to create the future life you love.
Will you join me on this journey?
Connie Jones, MA, LPC| 770-862-6088