I lived on a small farm with a milk cow when I was little. Twice each day, my dad would milk Bessie. I loved to watch and wanted to help but my hands were too tiny. Daddy would sit on a three-legged stool, put a bucket under the cow, rest the top of his head against her side and squeeze her teats releasing warm yummy milk. Bessie didn’t always stand still and sometimes Daddy had to catch himself before he tipped over. Fortunately, the three legs of the stool held well and he didn’t fall.
Some define who we are as three parts: body, mind, and soul. When any of these three suffer, our being goes out of balance and we feel out of sorts, uncomfortable. Our personal stool starts to tilt requiring effort to stay upright. Sometimes this feels so hard. We get caught up in all that is going on and it is hard to know how to get back into balance.
During the past year, we have learned to pay a great deal of attention to our bodies. We probably wake up and wonder if our runny nose is allergies or Covid. The shift in barometric pressure last week gave some people headaches. Those beautiful lacy yellow flowers beside the road are blooming full force and make many people feel terrible. The Covid 19 – pounds that is – gained over the last year make our fall wardrobe uncomfortable. We are exercising less. We are tired. Our physical leg is out of kilter.
Being out of work or extroverts working from home in isolation or being overworked due to short staff, tax the mental leg to our stool. What are the best solutions to the problems we are facing personally or in society? Differing opinions result in troubled relationships. Where can we go and feel safe? So much change. So much loss. So much fear. So much confusion. Our mental leg is out of kilter.
We have one leg left. This leg is trying to keep the other two legs working but it is tired. A sense of weariness is always there. Sometimes sadness. A short fuse. Sometimes anger. Sometimes there is joy but it is short-lived. Confusion. Frustration. All the weight coming in from the outside has fractured your soul.
What can you do to get your stool back on three healthy legs?
The physical part is probably the easiest. First and most importantly, know that not everything you feel is Covid. It is the high point of fall allergy season. If you have a history of allergies, follow your usual allergy regimen. If what you are feeling is unusual, talk to your doctor and ask him or her to help you figure out what is happening physically. Get plenty of exercise and sleep. Eat good food. Take supplements. Enjoy the beautiful weather – go hiking, visit an apple farm,
visit one of the many fall festivals around. Play football! Ok, just go to a game. Move!
When things weigh heavily on your mind, stop and take a breath. Think about what needs to happen now, in the present, the biggest priority. How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time. Yesterday is past and can’t be changed. The future is largely unknown. Prepare for the future as you can but focus on today. What do you need to do today to make things better? Make a plan. Ask for help if you need it. A different perspective can be so helpful. And a friend who challenges and encourages you is invaluable.
Listen to those messages inside your head. Some are lies that you have entertained long enough to believe. Other thoughts are things that just aren’t healthy to think about. They pull you down and keep you from achieving your potential. What is the truth? What is good? Catching yourself in these moments when your head is in a bad space and then turning from the lie or bad dialog to speaking the truth and good things is hard at first but the more you do it,
the easier it becomes.
Your soul? What better place to go to restore our souls than to the Maker of your soul? Our Heavenly Father knew us before we were formed in our mother’s womb. The Psalmist wrote that He knows when we stand and sit and when we go in and go out. We are told He has a plan for us – for our success and not our detriment. Find a quiet place and sit and talk to your Abba Daddy. Pour out your heart. Sit quietly and listen.
What brings you joy? Is it cooking? Reading? Playing with your kids? Crafting? Bike riding? Do it! Make some time to do some things that feed your heart and bring you joy!
Be grateful! By focusing on what you have, on what is right and good and rewarding, your heart will return to balance.
Find a good friend and talk. Laugh, remember, have fun.
I have a three-legged stool in my study. It isn’t a milking stool. It is from China and I think it went through a lot before I got it. I love to look at the beautiful grain of the wood. It is a strong oak stool. Every once in a while, one of my cats will try to run between the legs or run into it, and it totters. Things fall off but it always rights itself. Its balance is perfect. Body, mind, and soul. Each influences the other as they fulfill their purpose. Make time to care for yourself – care for each leg of your stool. You can do it!
Becky Neufeld MA, ACC