We’ve all been there at different times in our lives, and maybe you’re there now.
You think, “It’s too hard. I won’t ever get where I want to be.”
You say, “It’s too late. I’ve not made good decisions, and I’m stuck.”
You think, “I’m alone, and it’s always going to be like this.”
Or your thoughts remind you, “You’re behind, so you have to work harder and do extra, and you can’t enjoy life.”
Sound Familiar?
It feels real, and it is a frustrating, painful existence.
Yet, it is not the situation or the circumstances that are the cause of our misery. It is our thoughts that create our suffering. We feel emotional pain over a situation or circumstance because we create a story about what is, what was, or what will be. Then we suffer over it.
We spend so much of our time and energy inflicting unnecessary suffering on ourselves, and our thoughts get so convoluted that we lose the ability to decipher what is reality and what is not. Moreover, we lose hope about anything ever changing, and clarity and openness for recognizing opportunities for positive shifts in our lives escape us altogether. We resort to living in a painful existence, and we settle for finding momentary relief from our misery through distractions or avoidance.
But your suffering can stop, and positive change can happen. The following are action steps you can take to begin to free yourself from the suffering:
1. Recognize and identify your specific thoughts that are creating your discontentment or unhappiness. Take the time to write down the specific thoughts that are stealing you away from feeling peace, joy, and contentment in your life?
2. Then, ask yourself, “Is that thought really true?” It may feel true right now, but ask yourself if you absolutely know that it is true. We don’t have to believe everything our thoughts tell us. Many times, the thought that is creating our suffering is a fear based judgment or an old story that we were told by someone or that we created for ourselves. Most of the time, that old story is not serving us well and keeping us stuck.
3. Examine how your unquestioned thoughts create your present experience. Any time we feel stressed or fearful or uncomfortable, it is as a result of believing an untrue thought. Take a look at how you feel, act, and how your life looks and feels when that thought has power over you. When you believe that thought, do you feel hurt or angry or powerless? Do you feel like a victim? What do you do in response? (i.e. Do you isolate when you feel hurt and back away from friendships? Do you take it out on yourself or on someone else? Does it affect your sleep or your ability to enjoy something you are doing?)
4. Ask yourself how life would be different if you don’t believe that thought – if it didn’t exist. Look at the situation differently without holding onto that thought. Allow yourself to be in that space for a minute without replacing the thought with a better thought. Just notice what opens up for you when you can see your situation without the negative thought.
5. Finally, stop and answer this question for yourself. How might it feel if you were to loosen your grasp on whatever is the root of your suffering? Identify that feeling, and feel it in your body. Breathe it in, and spend more time in that space. As you do, you will begin to feel more comfortable embracing those lighter feelings, and the thoughts that are no longer serving you will lose their power.
When we expose the fallacy of our thoughts and the staleness of the old stories that keep us stuck in our suffering, then we are free to let them go. That old energy we have held onto in our bodies is finally free to move out. Then, we can choose to make a new declaration of our truth moving forward, and we begin to take forward action to honor and build upon that new story that we choose for ourselves.
So, I ask you.
What would your new story look and feel like?
Give yourself permission to create it.
If you need guidance in freeing yourself of your suffering, and creating a new story, I invite you to explore my coaching programs and services at www.conniejonescoaching.com.
Schedule a consultation online or email me at [email protected].