Yay! Things are opening up and finally returning to normal… or more normal… or kind of normal.
We are going out and engaging in activities we haven’t been able to do in a very long time. We are returning to offices. We are vacationing again. We are certainly enjoying a renewed sense of safety and optimism and joy and fresh expectations for the future.
Looking back, we agree the last 18 months have been rough. Scary, ugly and just plain hard coming from all directions resulting in fragmented souls. Some would go as far as to say we are suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.
PTSD may be too strong a term for most of us but, in spite of a more joyfully optimistic climate, we may experience some PTSD-like symptoms that rob us of our joy; things like anxiety, malaise, fear, sadness, anger or drop in energy. You were feeling so good and suddenly… KABOOM!
After what we have been through individually and corporately, ups and downs are expected. The Stuff wasn’t that long ago and those past feelings can be easily aroused. We can anticipate there will be swings in our feelings.
We are hoping for and expecting a return to normal. Some may have realized that what we knew as normal BC (Before COVID), no longer exists and they have redefined “normal”. But the truth is, we have very little on which to base this new definition. The result is a set of expectations that may or may not be valid. And when an expectation isn’t met, disappointment and all that goes with is smack us in our heart and soul.
I want to suggest several things that can help us regain our joy when we find ourselves on the low part of the ups and downs.
Things to think about:
- Why am I feeling this way? What triggered this feeling? Was it something someone said? Or a smell or a taste or the news? Can I change that trigger and avoid it in the future? You may want to ask the Holy Spirit the source of this low. If you have started watching the news again, you may want to stop again.
- Is this mine to take on?
What you are reacting to may really have nothing to do with you, especially if you are empathic. A friend began a new job in October, breast cancer awareness month. One day a co-worker lashed out to her for not wearing pink. My friend didn’t know they were supposed to wear pink and mentioned this to her boss. Her boss explained this woman’s sister-in-law, with whom she was very close, was suffering from breast cancer and the co-worker was having a very hard time. A feeling of empathy was appropriate anger and fear were not my friend’s to take on. - If this is mine to take on, what is the best way to work it through?
a. Do I need to talk to someone, a friend or a professional, to gain perspective and make a plan?
b. What steps do I need to take to put my heart at rest? - Hold things with an open hand.
a. If it is something good, enjoy the moment.
b. If you are struggling with something, embrace the hard. Acknowledge it. Work it through knowing it will get better. Right now it may not feel like it will get better but it will.
c. Be in the moment and if needed and if appropriate intentionally focus on something else. When you are continually chewing on something hard, the Bible says to focus on “whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable – if anything is excellent or praiseworthy – think about such things.” (Phil. 4:8) - Do things that feed and nourish your soul.
a. Engage in a hobby that brings you joy.
b. Spend time with a friend.
c. Get away – near or far.
d. Pray and meditate. If your heart is hurting, what better place to go than to the maker of your heart.
e. Develop an attitude of gratitude. There are always things in your life for which you can be grateful.
Reading these suggestions is easy. Doing them may be hard. It takes intentionality and practice. Begin with acknowledging the feeling and asking yourself where it came from. Be assured that God is in the quiet times. When it feels He is silent and far away, He is near and has created an opportunity for you to come close to Him. As you establish new ways of dealing with the ups and downs, you are establishing new normals that will help you experience whatever the future brings with joy.
Becky Neufeld MA, ACC